He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
