she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
