At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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