i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
