let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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