i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
