Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
ugly people sure do ruin things
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
