I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
