Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
