Someone shit on the floor
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
