just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
