Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize