i wish starbucks made bloody marys
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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