Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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