yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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