So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
