Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I touched a dick in church today
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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