one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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