She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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