Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize