I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
