I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize