they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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