Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
