insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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