your thong is hanging out like whoa
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize