drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize