I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
