I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
