I think I am morally bankrupt
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
