Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
