can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize