just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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