and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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