We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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