Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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