first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
