i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
