I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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