You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
