Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
