Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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