the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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