thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize