Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
