i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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