All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
