Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize