Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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