If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
honey bunches of taint.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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