okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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