just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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