her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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