i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked