It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Someone shattered a urinal.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.