you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
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I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
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Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf