yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number