she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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