when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
