wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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